Three Days of Mending

what happened

Kim and I started to mend things between us. I started to mend a badly torn shirt. We went to Kalachandji’s, then to the used bookstore, Half-Price Books. I spent most of Monday cleaning the house. On Tuesday, I was fired.

details

I had prepared myself to stay at my parents after my drive back from California. We unpacked all of the luggage and put it into their apartment. I've always found their apartment vaguely depressing and on this night it felt doubly oppressive, since there was nothing I wanted more than to sleep in my own bed with my cat and wife. I tried calling her, but she didn't answer her cell phone.

I walked out of the apartment, looking for some kind of relief. In the state of mind I was in, I probably would have been better off going to sleep. It had been a long drive. But instead of going to bed, I wandered around in the dark. Woodhaven is a rundown neighborhood in Fort Worth. Dozens of apartment complexes drape a wooded hill. It was once an exclusive development of apartments and townhomes but time and neglect have taken their toll. The paint peels off of many of the buildings and the tenants move in and out often. My dad called and reminded me that it wasn't a good idea to stroll around Woodhaven in the dark. I didn't care much, but I eventually found my way back to the apartment.

Kim finally answered her phone. She had gone to S4 with her friend Britney, to see the drag show in the Rose Room. She agreed to come pick me up so that we could talk. We kissed awkwardly when she picked me up. Neither of us knew where we stood, so we tiptoed gingerly with our words. I was still feeling hurt and betrayed, she felt angry, frustrated, and afraid. We fell asleep without reaching any resolution. I didn't sleep well, and stumbled out of bed after a while to sit in the office and read. I couldn't concentrate but I was too tired to sleep. I stripped down and climbed back into bed. I woke her up with my kisses and we made passionate love. We hadn’t touched for two weeks, so the sex was heated and hungry.

We ended up having a lot of sex over the next few days. It helped us break past the bad emotions that were blocking our affection for each other. She sent me a text message today (Wednesday) that said, "I was just sitting at a stop light thinking about how beautiful you are...I love you so much."

On Sunday, we went to our favorite vegetarian restaurant, Kalachandji’s. It was nice. They served tofu “fish” sticks, which made me think about Moona. We went to Half-Price books after dinner. I was on the hunt for a few more books about physics. Kim got a few fashion and anthropology books.

I stayed at home on Monday and cleaned the house. I spent the afternoon in the yard, trimming the hedges in front. I’m trying for a cool curvy shape, but it is hard to do one that looks nice. It was nice to work outside in the sun with my shirt off. Kim picked me up after work and we went to California Pizza Kitchen for dinner.

I woke up later than I had planned on Tuesday. Kim dropped me off at the train station on her way to class. I didn’t know what to expect when I got in. I have been away for three weeks. The floor staff all said that they’d missed me. “Where’ve you been?” Out sick. The place seemed deserted—no Jonathon, no Cale, no Megan, and no Lucy. When I passed by the studio, I was surprised to see Megan talking to Sammie, Rockey, and Brandy. The air was thick with tension. Sammie said, “You should go talk to Sam.” It was clear that she’d been talking with him already. I went down to his office. He told me that they couldn’t afford to keep me on full time. The grant had ended, the building was closing for the rebuild, and the Museum needed to pull in its belt. He wasn’t happy about it and he offered me a part-time position. I said I’d think about it. Sammie is a really bad person to have as an enemy. She’s crafty and can turn people against you. She even had my wife second guessing me and our marriage. My firing was probably inevitable. We had hired more staff than we could support, especially with the building closing for the remodel. But it’s likely that Sammie’s input pushed it along. Anyhow, I’m looking at it as a chance to finish school and make some other changes that are long overdue.

Kim and I went to the library downtown to kill time until our yoga class. We checked out a stack of DVDs. I also checked out a stack of books and CDs. I checked out…

• A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking
• Genius: The Life and Science of Richard Feynman by James Gleick
• Field Notes from a Catastrophe: Man, Nature, and Climate change by Elizabeth Kolbert
• The Fabric of the Cosmos: Space, Time, and the Texture of Reality by Brian Greene, and
• A Short History of Myth by Karen Armstrong

Ashtanga yoga class was fantastic. It was vigorous but it left me energetic and relaxed. Mary Elizabeth is a good teacher. I’d like to practice daily.

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